And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
