i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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