Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is wine microwaveable?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
