I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
