i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize