I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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