I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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