Got a toothbrush?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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