we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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