i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
