Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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