Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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