Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
