No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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