please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
should my penis look like a turkey
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
