mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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