i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
