Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
