He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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