Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
