The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Everyone says I win the strip club
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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