Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
