dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
