Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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