well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.