I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
