i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
