What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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