Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
