Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Of course I have a pirate flag
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize