they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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