Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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