I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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