I faked an abortion last night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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