Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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