No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
