After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
