That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
