Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
