Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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