i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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