Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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