So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
