Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
