You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
