Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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