win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
