I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
