I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
