Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize