i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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