For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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