please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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