Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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