i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
