I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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