Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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