i think i have herpe
just one?
love makes seman taste better
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
