so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
