I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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