wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
