Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize