I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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