They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
