Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
