My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
