I accidentally had phone sex last night
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize