I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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