but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
