She's JV to your varsity
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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