dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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