Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
