his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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