Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
