found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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